You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Someone shattered a urinal.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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