He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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