At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
