just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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