i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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