you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
