it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize