Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
