Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize
