sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My ATM looks so different sober.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
