it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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