I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
