If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Two words: nipple clamps
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