i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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