I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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