hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
