big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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