You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
