no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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