Already got asked if we're dating
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
