it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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