How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
