you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Couch. On fire.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
