awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
