dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
