TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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