I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
