At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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