And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize