I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
