My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
