but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
