That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize