and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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