At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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