I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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