They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
