I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
