The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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