She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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