I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
