I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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