Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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