ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
