At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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