Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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