I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
