Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
