I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize