Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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