Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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