She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
