I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
