we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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