i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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