Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
