so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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