I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
