my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
